Cheap shot.

So I found my first personal statement:

" I remember Johnny, a 15 year old working with his parents at the closest market in the neighborhood. He was well known for working at the counter. He was a good guy, not a close friend, but an acquaintance I spoke with whenever I shopped. Johnny was murdered on July 30^th, 2004; another victim of senseless inner-city violence. His death became a legend in the neighborhood. It was a harsh reality check, to know that I was living in an urban setting where an unwanted shooting like Johnny’s was bound to occur. Yet there is one path to lowering crimes and raising hopes: education.

I want to leave the neighborhood and be successful. Living here for the rest of my life would be unacceptable; I do not want to end up like Johnny. I want a future in the same sense that my parents did when they left El Salvador and immigrated to the United States. I was embedded with the “American Dream” just like my parents, yet I was born here. It is ironic how feelings of hope and security are the real benefits of the doctor my parents want me to be, yet they think it is the money. Of course, I never want to be a doctor but I know that to leave my neighborhood and achieve what can only be my “Dream,” one path will allow me to reach that goal: education.

Once I am in college, with the same determination that motivated me to work past my urban middle school and through my rigorous high school, I will succeed through my education. Reality checks will be a thing of the past because I will be the only one managing my future, not my parents, and more importantly, not my neighborhood."

It's not that I don't consider myself smart enough, but I'm still unsure if I deserved to get into UCSD with my decent grades and lack of volunteer work. I think I deserved it now because this statement, as touchy as it is, sounds very rushed.

I do write about the truth though. Every once in a while I walk past candles or photos of people who once lived. Children and adults alike. Its one of the reasons I can't bare to listen to some rap for too long. It really seems like certain people are trying to cash in on stories that are not theirs to tell.

And apparently I was doing just that on this essay...I deeply regret that now.

Thankfully this essay was poorly written, otherwise I would think that this was the sole reason I got into the school. I had this thought on my mind nearly all last year since I never had a chance to re-read it. All I had was my other personal statement on dinosaurs. I love that one. I think that that one got me into the school hahahahah.

just a song

i was going to favorite this on youtube, but i forgot my password >.>

nearly every spanish song i like tends to lead to this guy. i have to bootleg his music soon haha.

Damn it!

Back in the day, I would occasionally "copy" images and put them up on my wall. I'm quoting "copy" because while the things I drew were not original I did not literally trace the images off of their original source. The rushed pencil marks make a "copy" unique to the point where I called the images my own. They used to be good. I pulled off a self portrait that made my art teacher say "oh my god" back in 10th grade.

But now....

....I guess I need a little more inspiration.

Unfortunately, my dad threw away one of my inspirations last year. My awesome (imo) self portrait, my magnum opus, was nowhere to be found the day I went back home from college last year. It's one of the few things that has ever brought me to tears.

I wonder why I never hung it up. I only kept it in storage and showed it to people whenever I thought they were worthy of it. That previous sentence is a lie, I was always eager to show it to anybody because I was so damn proud of it.

My dad said he threw it away because there was no space for it.

I admit, I hated him for approximately 10 minutes after he told me that.

The moral of the story is: shit happens.

Guilt.

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people."-MLK jr.

Ups and downs

It's been a long day. Not a boring day, but one was full of events.

-A lot of my time was spend in lecture. I had to sit through three 1.33 hour lectures today, all of which were unusually entertaining. It made me realize how people aren't going to notice certain "coincidences" unless they were dead set on finding any slight connection between practically unrelated things. Actually, I'd observed that phenomenon back in the day. It was just brought back to my attention today.

-In other news, the UC regents voted to increase "fees" by 32%. I receive financial aid so it doesn't really apply to me, but I don't like how they are willing to do this when the purpose of these universities is to offer a "public" option. Privatization might be more profitable, but the credo of the school not be focused on that. Energy should be put into making public schools free! We already have private options for those who can afford to pay for those universities, but the UC's should not be tinkered with. It would destroy the values under which the schools were founded!

-I finally got to argue religion with two of my smartass friends (friggin brilliant, in other words). I won't post it because I don't remember how it went. I just recall discussing that people fight because they think religion is objective. (It's not.)

-I feel like a douche for not being able to drive up to Sacramento for this convention my intern organization was having. I hinted that I would most likely not be able to make it because of all the readings I have to catch up on, but my coordinator signed me up anyway. And I'm not one to feel morally obliged when I don't fully consent. I still feel like an asshole. I'm naturally inclined to feel like an asshole, but I've learned not to apologize repeatedly since it gets annoying. I still feel like an asshole.

-My homies and I went to watch an improv comedy group, "Foosh." This was my 5th time watching them and they never cease to amaze me. One of the greatest lines a performer gave tonight was: "Sex is like economics, you get diminishing marginal product."

Always

assume idiocy and confusion, not conspiracy.

The Loft...

...introduced me to these guys.

I'm listening to their "Humdinger" album right now, and I'm feelin' it. They earned my respect after their awesome performance.

I love The Loft I should go to it more often and experience new music.

On equality.

People are raised under a government that promotes equality. Our nation in particular, the United States, specifically states that everybody has an equal right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. It's not like you can have a certain amount of life, liberty and pursuit right? You either have it or you don't.Equality will never happen in terms of economic class, but is pretty easy to grant equality in a purely ethical way.

It boggles my mind that people refuse to acknowledge this idea of equality. The latest social movement (maybe the last, since nearly every other type of movement has been covered), the Gay Rights movement, is the result of complete disregard of this ideal.

So long as one person's right to exercise actions doesn't infringe on another person, it is A-ok. If it does then it would be unequal because it detracts from another person's right to life and liberty and ect. I honestly don't understand why people have made such a big deal out of something so simple. It really pisses me off.

Those who were raised to believe that marriage should only be between man and woman, well they should learn that the Declaration of Independence does allow that. And yes, I give priority to what the declaration says as opposed to the Bible. This is so because the declaration is consistent in what it states while the Bible is not logical.

See, I follow theory, not stories. I would follow the Bible if its stories were all consistent in the morals it tried to teach. Theory is consistent. I absolutely will not/cannot believe only what is convenient to believe. It goes against a set of morals that I set up for myself.





There is no truth. Only logic.

Chappelle

I always found this funny.

Very different from the norm, wouldn't you say?

Are you not entertained?!

Damn straight I am, Gladiator. Damn straight.

I didn't know that this epic line was from that movie. I enjoyed the scene and the movie.

The crowd could have played a bigger role than it did, imo.

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On another note, as interesting as I find political science, my arguments are too incomprehensible for me to go on any further past what I've done now. I will head back to math, my real forte and just major in economics.

Not sure if I ever told anybody but I aspired to start a non-profit organization (maybe with a focus on my fellow Latino community) at some point in time. I think I can do that with the skills I'll be gaining at my internship and a potential degree in business.

I think the pieces are falling together.

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And one more note about my goals. Back in high school I told myself I would do three artsy things in life: write/compose a song, direct a movie, and give a speech.

(i may have posted my speech [http://gylmar.blogspot.com/2009/11/one-day-only.html], but posting my movie will take a little bit more time so be patient!)

I've knocked out two of those goals, but I want a second shot at both and already have an idea for one...

...I also believe I've made significant progress on what I hope will be a memorable song. I just need words. I need to have something to say! This is probably why Poli Sci and I are not compatible.

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Some things never enter your mind. I'm going to hope that whatever I don't think up was never essential in the first place.

Milkshake blend

of east and west.



it tastes good.

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must. start. essay. that. i. have. been. putting. off. for. so. so. so.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o. long.

Get knee'd

My knees hurt. I don't think it's the running much as it is my stupidity (of which I'm too ashamed to write about).

I hope they get better. They've been hurting all week. *sad face*

One of the few topics that make me paranoid are cases of injury and sickness. I don't like relying on something beyond my control (my body) to heal itself, especially when it takes so much time.

and so much pain.

I'm honestly terrified that I will never be able to run as I have been running lately.

Better Days

I have decided to just leave the video up.

For the record, our senior class was around 800 students and the graduation rate was at a new time high. And each student was allowed to bring up to 4 people to the ceremony (not that everybody did....but maybe they did =D ). And lastly, we graduated at the Greek Theater in LA. Just so you know, I aspire to do something like that again at some point in the future.

Having the same view that performers have made me very happy (nervous).

I can't help but feel a little proud of myself.

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Earlier today, I was showing my suitemate some songs by Notorious BIG. I let him listen to "Me and My Bitch," a song that demonstrates incredible storytelling, but is (obviously) very misogynistic. My friend heavily disliked the song for that. I let him listen to another song called "Dreams," which one would believe to feature the rapper's promising future as a person and such.

Nope.

The song is about R&B singers that he hopes to have sex with. I personally love the song, with epic lines like "Hold your horses/Imma show you who the boss of intercourse is," but this was no way to introduce my friend to the rapper lol.

I thought I'd show him one of the more inspirational songs like "Sky's the Limit," where Biggie mentions that we should "stay far from timid/only make moves when your hearts in it/ and live the phrase Sky's the Limit." It's pretty inspirational on its own, but all he raps about in the song is his rise in the drug business. I find that funny.

I thought I'd listen to Tupac afterwards. Yes, I know that I ranted about this guy a while back (check: http://gylmar.blogspot.com/2009/10/fuck-it.html), but I was referring to his glorification of "Thug Life," not his sentimental side. I knew that people suffered elsewhere, but it hadn't occurred to me that people were suffering in this nation until I listened to him. I wasn't even trying to show my friend awesome music anymore, I just wanted to compare BIG's stuff to his legendary rival because I felt a little uncomfortable listening to it at that moment in time.

And of course, this was my first pic (actually, not obviously since I didn't pick "California Love")



The only reason I don't recall all the lines to this song is because I stopped listening to Tupac for a while, but I recited the lines that I knew.

I was almost brought to TEARS!!! almost lol

"Tell you pregnant and I'm amazed. So many blessings while we're stressing, looking for them better days."

"Every once in a while I reminisce, and wonder how we ever came to this, I miss the better days"

These lines are so sympathetic, and cannot be used out of context, unlike BIG's lines. I guess I preferred 2pac to Biggie this whole time lol.

Oh and my friend really liked "Better Days."

one day only

then imma remove it.

hope you like it (or liked it if you were among the crowd)!

Commencement Speech

(It would be posted right here if I actually knew how to convert the current file I had to something I could post [I can't even watch it myself, but I have a file]. If you help a brotha sort this stuff out you'll be rewarded with an advanced screening of my exaggerated performance, which I'll post here shortly thereafter.)


And on a side note, I would like to add that I just came up with another rhythm and lead combo that I will most likely never turn into a song, but am happy to have made. I get a Beatles vibe when I play it in my head. I wish another noob guitarist would jam with me lol.



The reason I get the beatles vibe is because the tune sounds relatively happy, but if I were to write something to the lead, it would make me sound like the hopeless romantic that those guys were - and NOT because I consider anything I come up with to equate to the level of awesome that their songs have.

Catastrophy...

...is an opportunity.

Oswald the Lucky Rabbit was Walt Disney's first
cartoon. He produced this character's material for Universal, but he was unfortunately fired at some point. Walt took the liberty to create another cartoon to replace the devastating loss of his first, since Universal owned the rights to the character.

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And so, to the left of the note is the world famous Mickey Mouse and to the right lies the forgotten Oswald.