In order to find that positive balance...

...ya gotta find a real, physical balance.

And so I've come up with the random, but rather serious, goal of finding balance on a slackline.

Symbols

I had contact with over 4 spider webs today. Should I take it as an ominous sign?

Nah. I'm gonna own my classes this coming school year.

I'll interpret today's sign as a future full of spider-less traps: I will make it out alive whether I fall into em or not.

Last Night

CHECK IT:

-I was in a high school, and my class (being run by my calculus teacher) was playing poker.
-I left to go use the restroom and before I could go in, an ooold-ass security guy yells out "where's your hall pass?"
-So I start running and he chases me through the school, I'm taking elevators that were kind of messed up and ran diagonally.
-The school is massive, and from what I remember, it was beautiful.
-I'm running through the center of the school and I barely make it past a parade of animals that were about to run a line right through the school
-the old security guy is blocked by the parade of animals, leaving me to run from leopards
-I don't remember making it back....

I was woken up by my alarm clock....and again by my mom.....and didn't even bother responding when my dad came to make noise.....I was asleep again!

-Back in the school (wtf!!)
-my cousin is in my class and she beats me in poker, winning 7k
-I head out with some girl, we leave the door open and right as we're walking down the stairs, that fcking old security guy is near our classroom
-"where are your hall passes!?" he asks
-we run to the classroom but he gets there first and shuts the door.
-we run back down the stairs
-the security dude convinces this black dude at the school to chase after me as payback for getting him into the football team.
-the whole time i'm running I'm trying to text this girl in my class to open the door but these guys are too close for me to concentrate solely on texting (in hindsight, why didn't I just call? lol)
-the school was big, but every hall or staircase I took made me feel it was pretty empty

anyways, the story gets less surreal after as I keep telling it, but it felt like a classic chase movie haha. it was a good night. here are some things I can't help but notice now that I'm awake:

-I knew that my class was being run by my Calc teacher, but I never saw him in my dream
-as I was running I got the feeling of my heart pounding, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't pounding for reals. but sometimes it really does. i can feel it even when I'm asleep.
-the girl just disappeared, I wonder what her story would have been...

Demagogue

–noun

1.	a person, esp. an orator or political leader, who gains power and popularity by arousing the emotions, passions, and prejudices of the people.

I'm still not sure whether I can classify this as a good or a bad label for somebody. Should "passion" and "prejudice" EVER complement each other?

It's HIStory

not HERstory.

Take that you crazy American feminists! Your own language owned you!

I'm all for human rights btw.

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Acid Trip

it must feel like this lol

Never give luck a chance...

(see what i did there?)

...or you'll lose all 80 of your virtual poker. I rarely see a guy risk it all on the river card and come out winning. What really happens is the river card makes a strong hand, already poised to win, a more secure victory.

Luck only comes to a select few, and for no apparent reason.....actually, for no reason whatsoever.

So if we apply this to everything (oh yes, even life), its best not to depend on luck, but to enjoy the moments when serendipity transforms a simple win into an epic win.

Ya just gotta love poker.

Yell Vehemently....

....especially to your government, otherwise it will not hear you. It's not that it's doing its best to ignore you (even though that is always a possibility), but its just too damn big to hear you! It's like trying to yell at somebody on top of a really tall building, they won't hear you unless you do it without a giant mass of people.

Let me tell you the info I've just gathered from a Facebook page about the state of Cal Grants.

"Cal Grants and other scholarship and grant programs are seriously at risk due to the governor's veto of the budget for the student aid commission. This means that even though the actual funds for the Cal Grants program were saved, the organization that administers them was not, which means that the funds for Cal Grants will not be dispersed after January, when it is projected that the Student Aid Commission will run out of money."

I will be one of those college students who gets fucked over when the grants stop, if they stop. The one thing that can be done, however, is let everybody know your problem and collectively take some action. I'm gonna call my legislator tomorrow and am doing as much as I can right now to let other people know as well. You just have to call to represent.

Cynics (most People) are going to say that legislators should already know how badly we need this, but in reality most don't because they have a lot of issues sitting on their desk. Cynics would think that with half a million people this issue should already be of some concern so the input of individuals is not going to help, but they have to realize that half a million is pretty much a minority in a state of 37 million. Minorities have to yell, and they have to yell hard, if they want to be heard. Chances are these legislators don't know about the issue, or the issue does not really concern citizens since The People (in other words, WE) are not collectively gathering and complaining.

That's how it works, nobody knows shit unless you tell them. SO...

...if you could please check the facebook page for it (haha facebook).

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=127567508165&ref=nf#/event.php?eid=127567508165&ref=mf

...and if you can't check that at least call your legislator...

http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/memberinfo

...it would mean a lot, not just to me, but to all the college students who need this.

I have a hunch a lot of you need it as well. =0

Mr. Roach

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/leon-roach-huntington-2554378-beach-pole

I would occasionally see Leon watching videos of pole vaulting on his laptop during our Humanities lectures. It is sad that he is gone ,but it is clear to me that he left us doing something he loved. His life may have been short lived, but it was lived passionately. And in all honesty, while I did not know him very well, I will be first to admit that a man with a passion of this caliber will forever remain an inspiration to me.

May you rest in peace Leon, and know that you will not be forgotten.

Easy Shit

It's easy to say things, whether you have a good idea or a bad one, but the execution of said idea is very difficult. It just proves that life is a bitch.

I'm listening to a lecture by Senator Mike Revelle, an old man who was running for presidency last year. This man was well researched and gave delicious ideas as to what our country should do to better the governed. He mentions freedom as defined by Cicero: "a participation in power." Senator Revelle is quick to mention how all the technologies that currently exist could be used to better the world, but we are not dedicating enough resources to exploit them and better the world. He mentions that China and Europe have already taken initiatives to be progressive and actually USE current technology, like windmills and hydrogen fuel, without a single setback or negative effect. According to this man, the US has the resources to accomplish more than it currently is, but the people have not taken it upon themselves to make this stuff happen....and this is partly because at the federal level, we do not have any power. We must be lawmakers if we want to see this type of change.

It is inspiring.

Anyway, I like to compare stuff like this to my everyday life. And one thing that i've noticed is that it is easy to say "ok" or "yes." I know i'm being cynical in thinking that less than half the people who are inspired by the speech will be hardcore enough to actually do what they were inspired to do. It reminds me of all the things I've wanted to do, but never really took upon myself to do.

Because excecution is tough, people. It's tough.

the creator

I get a rush when I make something. The most common thing I make are rhymes, and since I make them so often I'm usually feeling pretty good about myself. Unfortunately I am cursed with bad memory and never get the chance to write my rhymes down before I completely forget them. My main influence is Hip Hop and my main influence from Hip Hop is Eminem, "the lyricist without a clue, what year is this?"

I like his style of rhyming, but not his content, so what I do is put in my own philosophy and try to rhyme like he does. One of my favorite one liners, which I will use in a rap if I ever write one is (and you better not jack me foos!):

"And that's just the half of it, the rest hasn't happened yet."

This is the only rhymes I have saved since I began freestyling in my head.
I don't know how I will use it, but c'mon, you gotta admit, that's fcking sick right?

My favorite endeavor is not even a rap song, however (damn that rhymed too i'm on a roll). It is this skit my classmates and I had to do for my Speech class during my senior year at High School.

We agreed to make a sort of monologue competition where each person would present a famous monologue in either a Southern, French, or English accent. My friend Tisha and I were hosts, also with accents, and the other 4 would be competitors.

The reason I love this skit so much is because of how I directed each performer's movements. I just felt that it went so well with their little speech. The best part was of course the audience reaction-I believe they loved it. The guy who filmed this awesome skit was chuckling and giggling and even laughing out loud during the entire thing (everybody could hear it in the replay). And I remember people laughing specifically at the motions the performers were doing just as I hoped they would.

I felt good that day. Directing definitely makes a guy feel significant.

First...

...I created this blog...

http://gil4gyl.blogspot.com/

...and now, after much deliberation, and reading a blog that argues for carrying weapons at all times, I present to you one that I dedicate to myself (read the fine URL baby!)

Why? Because I feel that I should start exploiting my name a little more than I have in the past.

Why? Because I think this name is so memorable. Once a person can pronounce my name, it becomes relatively difficult to forget it. And with that name comes exclusivity and a higher chance that you will remember the man that comes with the name.

This change comes with my decision to never introduce myself as Alex, or as both Gylmar and Alex ever again. I'm done confusing people with something trivial, which brings me one step closer to achieving a goal of mine which is speaking with absolute clarity.

I feel that this will also bring me closer to those of you who called me Alex. I feel that just as Gylmar makes me exclusive, calling me "Alex" will make me feel exclusive to those who still call me it just because it will be reminiscent of those good ol' days. haha

Now, let me tell you the real reason I am creating this blog.

Throughout the last year I've been having many philosophical moments, making me wonder why I am the way I am in a psychological sense. I'd keep asking why, why and why and eventually found out why I am the way I am physically through recollections of old history books. This involved religion and war. Oh yes, I need to know everything.

There is no psychological record though, other than my fallible memory. I'd actually been posting many Myspace bulletins sharing what I thought. Unfortunately, those bulletins are deleted after two weeks, I only saved one bulletin which I thought was blogworthy. I'll post that one here later.

And so, this will be my history book, you are welcomed to read it, comment it, and even call me Alex on it.